****IT'S A GIRL******

We received our referral today! I'm on cloud 9!

She is BEAUTIFUL!!!

We're in love for sure!!!!!!

This will be our third child through adoption. I am no stranger to the"wait". Lots of waiting is involved in the process, start to finish. Home study wait, immigration wait, twice with USCIS the I600a and then the I600. Not to mention the NVC, P3, VI, TC etc., etc. It's just how it goes. I'm not unhappy, it just part of the process.
Both of my sons were referred to us through the waiting child program. They are wonderful! As we were open to sons with special medical concerns we have been matched fairly quickly, within weeks of having a HS in the WC program. I have been on my agencies WC list since April of this year. I took a huge leap up the list once our HS was finished. I was unprepared to wait over 7 months for the referral of our daughter. I know it is because we have requested a daughter. It is hard for me to process this somehow. I knew I'd wait longer, but I wonder if we will be matched before Christmas? Waiting so long for a referral is new to me. I've waited before, but waiting to be matched in WC this long is new. I know the wait will get more difficult, and some days it will be easy. I just want to know it will happen. It is hard to wait for a miracle. It's hard to wait for that child you know you will love forever. It's hard to wait longer than you thought you would. I don't feel like something wrong is happening. I'm just unfamiliar to this part of the wait, and have not had to wait so long to be matched before.
I'd like to say, I'm not mad, or irritated, just surprised, and wondering when? This is a new experience for me.

It's all good!

I'm doing really good with the wait today! I know it might seem like a kooky post, but it feels great to be "waiting good". When you are just aching for a referral or TC is when it goes the slowest. Maybe all the "retail therapy" as been, say, theraputic!

eight or so...

If my calculations serve me correctly, we are now or will soon be eighth on the HS WC list. We started at #22, so not too bad! I hope we will be matched in November. I need someone to send Christmas gifts and little outfits to (soon).

I feel the need to tell you all how much I really want my phone to ring today. I want a call from the special needs department of my agency so badly today, it's unreal. When people feel this way, we are often filled with negative feelings and need to "vent". I too am so filled with emotion, but it's going in a new direction today! I have adopted from Korea before. It was the experience of a lifetime to say the very least. I want all of those wonderful things that follow a blessed referral, I'm just so ready for that phone to ring.
I want to get my phone call so that I can remember for decades exactly what I was doing when the phone rang. I want to scramble to fill out that acceptance packet, and worry my handwriting wasn't nice enough. I want to go to all of my favorite baby clothes web sites and put in her ht/wt to see what size she'll wear, and try to guess what size she'll be when she comes home. I can't wait to have a referral announcement made, and send it to all of my friends. Then I can't wait to take all of their phone calls a few days later with all of the loving and congratulatory well wishes! I can't wait to have a baby shower, one that has a theme heavily on Korean culture! I can't wait to start calling the NVC and DC numbers, to post a thread, "Guess who has VI?!" I can't wait to show her referral photo to anyone who will listen. I can't wait to go into my local Gymboree, and say I DO know what size I need!! I am so excited to send over a care package with things for her and her beloved foster mother, who I'm 100% sure will be a saint! I can't wait to get an "unexpected photo update" and put the newest photo into a locket. I can't wait to buy pink baby shower thank you's, and hopefully pass them out this time....
I can't wait for the phone to ring, one more time, from my social worker delivering her spry, and clever travel call (this will be her 3rd TC for me). I will cry, and be elated and everyone around me will think I got a terrible call, until I explain the tears of joy, and that I just got TC, and then everyone else will jump and shout, and cry happy tears! Then I will rush out shopping. I will go to Target and spend $75 on all new infant strength medicines (Tylenol, anti-gas, Motrin, etc..). I will call Earle. I can hardly wait to book those flights! Seeing the little lap ticket in her full Korean name will make me misty for so many different reasons. I can't wait to line up in LAX at the Korean Air terminal. To see the planes landing and taking off. To see the stunning flight attendants who match so well with each other that they even have on the same make-up, and to eaves drop trying to see if I can pick out a few Korean words from my limited but growing Korean language skills. I can't wait to land in Incheon and see the driver smiling holding a sign with our last name on it! I can't wait to go to our first appt., and see our beautiful baby's face for the first time. To see the pride of a thousand generations of Korean heritage in her eyes. I can't wait to thank the foster mother in person for all her dedication and love to this sweet child. I can't wait to see my daughter in the meetings that will follow, and to finally hold her in my arms forever. I will hold her and feel the the glow of being the proudest mother in the entire world at that very moment, and at that moment the whole world will stand still and in a planet with millions of people it will seem as if our family is the only one I can see. I can't wait to get my blue Holt bag, and love all of the cute things in it, the jammies, and the Holt bottles, etc. I can't wait to be in Korea again, the warm people, the buildings, palaces, having kimchi in Seoul! To see the Hangul on the neon street lights, to smell meats cooking along alleyways of bustling restaurants. To ride the subway to Insadong to choose the perfect heirloom piece of Celedon pottery I will give to my daughter on her wedding day. To be in Korea! To visit Ilsan. To spend time with the residents, and to pay my respects to the Holt's at their grave site, on a hill in Korea. To see where it all began, to feel the magnitude of the way they changed the world and made it possible for children with out family to become adopted. To see the miracle before my eyes. I can't wait to see my son's foster mother, and tell her how tall he is, and how much I love him. To tell her that he is happy and healthy, and thank her once more. Then I will be at the airport again. I always cry again here. I cry to leave the birth country. I think of the brave birth mother, and Korea. A few tears run down my cheeks, this is where my husband looks at me and says, "We are committed to raising our children to live something from their birth country daily." I will say "I know, but I am still sad". We will look at our daughter and express our comittment to making Korean culture important to our family life. I can't wait to hear the pilot say we're just about to land. I can't wait to see my children and family as we come down the corridor at the airport. The smiles the hugs and the tears! I can't wait to have our daughter meet the family that will cherish her and revere her for her entire life. I can't wait to be her mother!
I can hardly wait for that referral. It will be a beautiful day.

Sunday

Today is General Conference. I love it. Gives you some peace while waiting.

*FOUR*

Today it has been 4 months exactly since applying to our agency for Little Sister Seoul. Hurry home sweet baby girl. We need you!

Retail Therapy to the Rescue

I went to Gymboree and drowned my sorrows in pink dresses, cord overalls, and embroidered onsies! I don't think we will get a referral in October, and it's hard to feel that way at the beginning of the month. I'm not super bummed out about the wait yet, but I can say the old adage "Boys wait for families, while families wait for girls!" is very true. Not that I didn't already know that. I had a hard time requesting a daughter, because of this, and that 80% of adoptive families will only accept the referral of a girl. But my dream family has always been 2 boys and 2 girls, minimally, but 3 boys 2 girls being perfect! We'll see what the Lord has in store for us. I just need to be patient. All adoptive moms who are in process need this, it's just one of the hardest times in life to muster it up! I am 13th on the list. We are open to a wider range of "medical needs" than some, so hopefully that puts us closer than some to the top. If we don't get a SN match within the 9 months or so, we will likely be matched with a child with minute or no medical needs. I prefer a WC match, so I hope we get matched before 9 months. So lucky #13, move us up that WC list!!! I can always shop at Gymboree more after our beloved referral.
I am also anxious to return to South Korea. I loved my trip to Seoul last years so much, I can't wait to return. The whole experience of adoption has so many emotions, some days I feel them all! Pray for Little Sister Seoul.